Just Carl

I’m making a list of things I can do to cheer myself up instead of complaining. It mostly entails screwing with people. So far I have;

• Starting sentences with “When I was a little girl…”
• Wearing funny hats in inappropriate places.
• Making my crutches gay (Glitter and pink/purple tape)
• Screaming in fake agony every time someone brushes off me.
• Filling my empty painkiller bottle with white Tic-Tacs and publicly downing them.
• Tripping people up with my crutch on purpose, over-exaggerating the apology, then falling over in the process to make them feel bad even though I was the one who tripped them.

I need MOAR.