Just Carl

Carl [kahrl] -noun
1. A strong, robust fellow, especially a strong manual laborer. 2. A miser; an extremely thrifty person. 3. A 24 year old Irish guy with too much to say and not enough people to listen.

Anonymous asked: What makes you so sure atheism is the way to go?

I regularly get questions like this, so let’s set a scene that I think the internet would understand.

I turn 25 this year. Things beyond my control happen and I have a kid. 

I think to myself; “Hmm, let’s try an experiment with this innocent kid who literally knows nothing about the world”.

I raise him (it’s a him, because my semen is manly) normally, and read Harry Potter to him every night through his childhood. 

Here’s the kicker; I tell him Harry Potter was real. Everything in it actually happened, or is a metaphor for something that Harry Potter did or wanted us to believe. I tell him Harry actually saved us from damnation (via Voldemort) and we owe our lives to him. 

I also tell him that the weird train station place where he went when he died is where we go when we die. It’s our “Heaven”. From there, Harry rose from the dead to protect us.

I bring my child up with this belief, never telling him that the vast majority of the world believes in something else. I send him to fake schools with actors I’ve hired to further teach the ways of Harry Potter, and make him send his thanks to Harry every night before bed, by kneeling by his bedside and writing a letter to thank Harry, which will be sent to him by our owl. Oh and by the way, the Owl is mandatory - we have him because Harry demands we do.

Once a week we go to a sermon where another actor I paid reads us passages from the HP books. 

This continues through his whole life. I constantly tell him HP is “the word”.

I’d be fucking crazy, right? You’d take my child away from me if you could (and rightly so). My child would be warped, brainwashed, and totally misinformed about reality. 

That, my friend, is religion. That is exactly how religion began. But instead of me trying to manipulate one child, tricky people manipulated the masses. The only difference is that I’d have used a modern book that’s actually more tuned into reality and positive morals than the bible, quran, torah, etc. The people who wrote these things are no less human than J.K Rowling, or you, or I.

I think the real question has to be… what makes you or anyone else sure atheism isn’t the way to go?

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